Big Hands don't
necessarily mean big...well you
know...alternatively titled Reade gets Nasty...(Part 1)
I knocked on the secret back door to the Castle. I hoped that they hadn't
changed the password. The little sliding peephole slid open and a small
raspy voice said "Yeah", and I said "Hakuna Matata",
the voice said "Bless You". I then replied with the necessary
blasphemy..."In the Mouse's name" The door opened and I looked
down to see Doc Dwarf leering up my lime green lycra mini skirt. Something's
"We knew you'd be back Reade, once you've gone Toon, you never go
"Cut the crap you shrunked excuse for a man, I need someone who can
satisfy a real woman, and it ain't you...where's the Mouse"
"Reade, he's in a meeting with the Toon Council, something is going
down, Goofy has gone rabid. He's fixated on some Bipedal bimbo named Raine,
I think he's too busy to see you."
"Oh Doc, Mickey is never too busy to see me. Remind him about the
nights alone with the blue cheese. Remind him about the custard pie fillings
tubs. Most of all remind him about these babies. I unzipped my clingy
satin jacket and freed my amazing set of Mouseketeer ears and flashed
them at the dwarf. If you want to touch them later, you'll get me in to
see the old boy now..."
"Purrrrrr, will you dance for me like you used to....
"Damn it you pervert I will dismember your member if you don't get
me in there now..."
With that Doc skipped off to the Toon Syndicate's office.
I found myself alone in the back passageway of the castle. I looked at
the walls and wasn't at all surprised to see some lovely surveillance
photos taken in my younger days. Apparently that little "mirror mirror
on the wall" wasn't just there to flatter me. I ripped down some
pictures, keeping a rather tasty one of me and Roger Rabbit. Now there
was a Toon who could satisfy a woman...
I spent my final moment of sanity running my hand up my thigh to check
for the small switch blade Fro had given me. "In case, Reade"
he said. He wanted me to just plant the bugs and get out. He figured the
blackmail would keep the Toons in line. I knew better. I knew what Pilgrim
and the other FLOvians had gone through. I wasn't stopping till I razed
the Castle. Whether I went down with it or not....
TO BE CONTINUED...