Big Hands don't necessarily mean big...well you
know...alternatively titled Reade gets Nasty...(Part 1)

By Reade

I knocked on the secret back door to the Castle. I hoped that they hadn't changed the password. The little sliding peephole slid open and a small raspy voice said "Yeah", and I said "Hakuna Matata", the voice said "Bless You". I then replied with the necessary blasphemy..."In the Mouse's name" The door opened and I looked down to see Doc Dwarf leering up my lime green lycra mini skirt. Something's never change.

"We knew you'd be back Reade, once you've gone Toon, you never go back..."

"Cut the crap you shrunked excuse for a man, I need someone who can satisfy a real woman, and it ain't you...where's the Mouse"

"Reade, he's in a meeting with the Toon Council, something is going down, Goofy has gone rabid. He's fixated on some Bipedal bimbo named Raine, I think he's too busy to see you."

"Oh Doc, Mickey is never too busy to see me. Remind him about the nights alone with the blue cheese. Remind him about the custard pie fillings tubs. Most of all remind him about these babies. I unzipped my clingy satin jacket and freed my amazing set of Mouseketeer ears and flashed them at the dwarf. If you want to touch them later, you'll get me in to see the old boy now..."

"Purrrrrr, will you dance for me like you used to....

"Damn it you pervert I will dismember your member if you don't get me in there now..."

With that Doc skipped off to the Toon Syndicate's office.

I found myself alone in the back passageway of the castle. I looked at the walls and wasn't at all surprised to see some lovely surveillance photos taken in my younger days. Apparently that little "mirror mirror on the wall" wasn't just there to flatter me. I ripped down some pictures, keeping a rather tasty one of me and Roger Rabbit. Now there was a Toon who could satisfy a woman...

I spent my final moment of sanity running my hand up my thigh to check for the small switch blade Fro had given me. "In case, Reade" he said. He wanted me to just plant the bugs and get out. He figured the blackmail would keep the Toons in line. I knew better. I knew what Pilgrim and the other FLOvians had gone through. I wasn't stopping till I razed the Castle. Whether I went down with it or not....