Disney by Night
part 3: When you wish upon a star, it don't
matter where you are......you better make sure your insurance is paid
By B. Pilgrim
The story you are about to read is TRUE, but the names haven't been
changed because no one is innocent.....
....they just THINK they are.
There are a million characters in the naked city, some are just more
animated then others.
I should know, I'm one of them.
This is my city.
My name is Pilgrim.
I'm a FLOvian.
I could smell the easy morals like yesterday's Hamster McNuggets as I
cruised the mean streets. I was in the Pilgrimobile, with the top down
and the target acquisition software up.
I was looking for something.
Part of my past.
Maybe the key to our besieged leader's future.
I could think of only one person alive who knew Goofy better then
Raine did. I had to find her to get a clue to the bastard's next move.
I finally felt that strange little tingle at the base of my spine that
told me she was near. It was strongest when I tried to peer down a certain
dark, shabby little alleyway. As I let my eyes adjust to the half light,
I saw her.
The years had not been kind to Tinkerbell.
She was laying sprawled over an old cottage cheese container, one tiny
breast hanging out of her cheap rayon babydoll, surrounded by empty fairy
dust packets. She looked at me, her eyes bleery and unfocused. She wasn't
even glowing...more like oozing a trace of sickly green light.
"Go away...I'm on break....Try Belle, she's taking Johns right now.
She'll even do the French stuff." She paused, and looked at my boots.
Noteing the silver tips, she sensed disposable income and let her eyes
travel all the way up...and up...and up. She put her working voice on.
"My....you're a BIG one, aren't ya.........hey, don't I know you?"
Her little brow knitted with concentration. Suddenly I saw it dawn, and
her squeeky little voice broke with a mixture of emotions. ".....Micheal?
It is little Michael, isn't it....?"
I nodded..."Yeah. Hiya Tink. But I'm called Pilgrim these days. How
Suddenly self-concious, she straightened her lingerie. "Wow...I had
heard you had gone live-action.....didn't believe it. I hardly recognised
you without the teddy bear. So how's the family, Miche..errr...Pilgrim?
"John's dead Tink. Drive-by in 92. He was wearing that stupid hat
in a gang's turf, The Samedis', and they Nined him. Wendy's OK, though."
She snuffled slightly, and took a sip of gin from a old walnut shell.
"She still with Hook?"
"Oh, yeah", I sighed, "Married him right after she caught
Pan and Tiger Lily doin a rain dance on Huck Finn's Island. She doesn't
love Hook, but he's secure, stable. He gave up the whole pirate thing.
Went back to school. He's been really sucessful in Jersey. Dr. Leonard
Hook, MD, OB/GYN. They've got a boy and a girl, Meat and Sky. I don't
see em much. Still can't stand the curly haired bastard. To think of him
boinking my sister just makes it worse, y'know."
"Still, he had style....So...." She tried to act non-chalant,
"Any news of Peter?"
"Nope, nobody's seen him for 10 years. You know that, Tink. He disappeared
right after the whole shadow-jacking thing broke. Most of the Lost Boys
are in the joint on that rap, or dead....I ran with 'em for awhile, but
we've all lost touch. You know Pete...he'll turn up if we ever really
She didn't believe it any more then I did. We were on our own. Peter
had never grown up, but he had sure as hell sold out. Went states-evidence
on the whole racket...probably in some witness protection program. Or
knowing Pan, he had just done a fade of his own, double crossing everyone.
She wiggled her remaining wing playfully, trying to float up to my face.
She was trying to recapture the past, but it was too much for her. She
fell back into the
garbage, grunting softly as the stump of her lost wing hit the pavement.
I could still see the little chipmunk bite marks along the raw edge. It
had never really healed.
Probably never would. Nothing is quite as pitiful as a grounded fairy.
There is just something wrong about it.
Still, she was putting on a brave front. "Any other gossip about
the old crowd?" she asked as she took another lady-like sip of gin.
"Not much...You were tight with Ariel, I remember. She just had another
brat with Leghorn. The marriage has never worked, mixed marriages never
do. It's a non-stop studio-clash. They fight all the time, but you know
him, cock of the walk. I really feel bad for the kids. They're neither
fish not fowl."
I paused, not sure how to go on, how to tell her what I had to....
"And Tink...the 'munks are dead...."
She caught her breathe at the word, and then relaxed....sighing to
herself. "About time, the nasty little deviants....I hope you made
"Not my work, babe. The Big Dawg cacked them. At least Chip...and
Dale was as good as dead when I found him. I just helped him along a little."
"Goofy...killed the 'munks?" She was trying to understand what
I was telling her. It seemed impossible. They had been his secret police,
his own little blackmail team. They had known where all the bodies were
buried. Hell, they had scurried playfully around his feet while he was
burying them, batting a stray eyeball around like a hazelnut. Goofy had
seen their potential early....he coaxed them away from Mickey with booze
and little boys. Then, he had them rat out the mouse's heroin problem
to Rona Barrett on Good Morning America. That was the end of Mick's reign.
That started the clinics, the drunken brawls with Sean Penn at Elaine's,
the possession arrests in airports. From then on, everyday was "Anything
Can Happen Day". Then when those old shots of him and Annette made
Celebrity Skin.....good think Walt was already gone.
When the smoke cleared, Goofy was the last of the old guard left standing.
Unless you counted Pluto, stuffed and placed next to the fireplace. The
Big Dawg took over, ruling with an iron paw...and then apparently he met
Raine, and soon after went
all the way over the edge. I was exiled by then, having opted for that
operation to join the meaty masses. Soon would come knighthood, then a
few deaths, and the Gunman...and Raine and the FLO. Strange how one psycosis
seems to blend with the next.
I blinked twice, coming out of my reverie to see Tink staring at me.
"He must be completely gonzo now..." she whispered..."What
about Raine....she could
always calm him down....two-bit primate sluts are like that..."
Jesus, she was still bitter....a fairy scorned....
"They split up, she ran for it when he went over the edge....that's
why I'm here, Tink. I owe Raine a few favors. She's in charge of this
little paramilitary quilting society I belong to. Plus, she talked my
way out of hell for me....long story. Anyway, Goof is looking for her,
and I want to cut him off."
"Pilgrim....No! He'll pixelate you, then put you to work in one of
his gulags....Goof Troop or The Adventures of Timon and Poombah. That
sado-masochistic little gate attendant's not worth it!" She was sounding
like the old Tink again. Feisty.
"Sorry Tink, but I made a promise. What do you think he'll do?"
The fairy snorted..."That's easy, he'll take the cricket and a goon
squad...The Tweedles, Mowgli, maybe Sneezy and Dopey...and go straight
after her. The Goof takes what he wants, and if he needs to go through
you, then you better step aside."
"Then I'm gonna need some backup...thanks Tink. I gotta go marshall
the FLO." I patted her little head and started back toward the Pilgrimobile.
There was no time to lose.
"Michael, errr, Pilgrim...wait!!! Please!!!!" I stopped and
She smiled weakly, trying for a little of the old Tinkerbell flirt.
"If you happen to run into Peter, ask him if he still believes in
fairies. Will ya do that for me, huh?"
"Sure Tink....anything for you."
"And Pilgrim...clap for me one more time.....for old times sake....please???"
I smiled softly at the memory...and clapped as loud and as long as I could.
For a second, she seemed to flare up for a second, but then faded. One
ill-used fairy just couldn't break through the gloom.
Too little, too late.
"Take care of yourself, Tink. I gotta go rope me a doggie."
FLO United and Raine and Goofy reunited