it has to end somewhere and its ending with me. So there. Brought
to you from the Pilgrim school of lengthy subject lines. Earn your
I tried to keep my emotions under control when Mickey opened that
door. I knew that it was going to be difficult walking through it,
but I just kept thinking of the vow I made to Fro. I had to make sure
that that the evil that is Toon must be stopped. And stop it I will.
I looked around the room and saw that Mickey had left it all the same.
My handcuffs were still on the bedside table, my whips mounted tastefully
over the bed. And even my disco strobe light and karoke machine were
intact (remember of course I was trying to make a career in show biz...it
wasn't for any other sick icky reason...). Awww, I almost felt reminiscent.
Almost. But I knew what I had to do.
I walked over to the king sized mouse head shaped bed and sat down.
I patted the spot beside me and said.
"Mickey, come on over here big fella and help me remember the
good ole days..." I winked.
Mickey let out a squeak and scampered over to the bed. He shoved me
down roughly and climbed on top of me, he began to kiss me passionately.
And I let him. Then I slid the plam out of my sleeve and drove it
into the back of his neck. He slid off of me and the green viscous
liquid that we know so well oozed out.
Alrighty. One down and a zillion to go. I got down on the floor and
reached under the bed. Fro and the boys came through. Five gas cans
and a flame thrower. Lets party.
I adjusted my tasteful sparkly kevlar shirt and stuck out my chest.
This shouldn't be too hard at all. As I walked I left a trail of gasoline.
I walked back into the control room. The other toons ogled me and
nudged each other. They couldn't see the flame thrower behind me.
And nor could they smell the gasoline (toons have no sense of smell
you know). Baloo spoke.
"So Reade, that was fast...the Mouse is getting old. You need
a big animal like me to make you scream for more..."
"Oh Baloo, if I recall last time it was you screaming. You told
me to spank you and say you were a naughty bear cub. And big, oh darlin'
almost every human male is bigger than that...." I knew that
a human comparison would rile up the toons, offering me a moment to
do the deed. The other toons held Baloo back, as he growled and threatened
that he would make me scream.
I shrugged my shoulders daintily and said "Aww Baloo, we were
just exchanging witty banter sweetie. If you can't all stand the heat,
you'd better get out of the kitchen..." And with that I turned
the flame thrower on them full force.
Although I would have liked to stay and watch the celluloid melt,
I knew I only had a couple of minutes to get out of the castle alive.
I ran through the passageways, igniting the gasoline as I went. Finally
I reached the entrance and I ran across the bridge and hid behind
a imitation shrub. I could hear the snap crackle pop of melting toons
and hear their screams of pain. I smiled. And then like so many firework
displays before it, the Castle exploded into a spectacular blaze.
I closed my eyes and let unconsciousness find me.
When I came to, I was back at FLO headquarters. Raine, Pilgrim and
Maria were all standing around me. Although I felt the urge to ask
which of them was ToTo I resisted it. Loa was playing with the multimedia
center, trying to find me a good ep to watch. Mish came over to me
and started to tell me about what happened when I was gone. How Pilgrim
had rallied soldiers from our ranks to save Raine. How Goofy had been,
surgically altered. How Tinkerbell and Pan had joined our membership.
How Katy-Q had been committed to a mental institution...but her pics
and negatives couldn't be found. I raised my hand in the universal
symbol for stop, you're rambling and spoke my first words since I
flambeed the castle.
"Thats nice. Bring me Walter and a big tub of Jello. Don't bother
me for 2 hours. I have somethings I need to work though...."