Blackmail Journal -Day 12 (The End. Only here, MY files get
destroyed, and if anyone takes a snapshot of me ever again, the fairy bites it.)


By Raine



Thunk. Goofy's right eye. I squinted and aimed to the right.

Thunk. One in the left.

Thunk! Another, right between the legs. Not that it mattered...

"Nice aim, Raine." Tink glanced over at my lifesized poster of Goofy, now bristling with small metal projectiles. I had run out of throwing knives a while back, but didn't have the heart to remove them from the wall.

The tiny fairy was slouched on my desk against a small bottle of sedatives, doing her nails. She held up a tiny whore-red index finger. "What do you think?"

Thunk! A fourth, between his blank, staring eyes.

"It's a good shade. Suits your coloring." I propped my legs up on my desk in my old FLO HQ office, and watched her.

Tink did look much better now that she'd been though detox and had the grime scrubbed off of her. Her former glow was finally back, coming on and off in fits and spurts. After my beloved Flovians, as much as it galled me to admit it, saved me from a very gelded Goofy, I had felt compelled to hand out honorary memberships all around. Once I found him, Peter was the first to receive one, and where he went, Tink followed.

I sighed. There was business to catch up on. I was happy the fairy had stayed; she made a damn good spy...Able to bland in well in the seediest of surroundings.
After the whole Disney fiasco, I wasn't in the mood to trust anyone.

"So, Tink...What has everyone been up to since the raid?"

The miniature ex-prostitute and fairydust-head puffed on a tiny, tiny nail and recited, "Mich-ah...Pilgrim is drinking fizzy girly drinks and is falling-down drunk south of the border. The last thing I saw was a game of oiled Twister with Wonder Woman and a terrified Tweetybird. He had one foot on Green Three, another on Red Seven, and he was shouting that he would 'giving her something to lasso'." About what I had expected. "Next."

Tink continued, her lilting voice expressionless and totally professional. "Norville is still MIA in Deb's dungeon, screaming for someone to change the
channel. It's been on professional cross-stitching competitions for three weeks now, and there's an endless loop of Yani's Greatest Hits and John Tesh Reinterprets Barry Manilow Love Ballads on the stereo system. Deb and the others discovered the Pilgrim mask, but, strangely, they didn't seem to care."

I nodded. "Continue."

"Martha, Kate441, and Maria are all pruning in a large hot tub with the Pan, who is telling them about his 'flying ability', you know, the usual pick-up line." She rolled her eyes. "Fiver is home watching some bunny movie and sobbing brokenly while practising how to make small shaped charges. Reade is about to do battle with the Mouse." She winced slightly.

I nodded. I wished my Supertwin luck. If anyone could bring Mickey to his knees, then according to extensive videotaped archives, it was Reade.

Tinkerbell flared slightly into light, floated for a second, and settled back down. "Loa killed Pinocchio, who was happy, happy, happy to the bitter end, the
wooden-headed puppet. Erynn put an end to Katy-Q's blackmail archives of you in the most involved and messiest way imaginable, at once locking Katy up in an institution and initiating Byers to the wonders of Blueberry Jell-O soaks."

"She's got style, that one." I reminded myself to recommend her for promotion to Miss Maria, and nodded. "Is that all?"

Tink frowned. "The rest are still planning that bloody coup against you."

I fingered my AK-47 fondly. After I had got back from the bunker, I found myself strangely...attached to the weapon. "Good...Things are finally back to normal, pending Reade's battle with the Mouse and Poppins." I sighed...I really needed a vacation. Maybe I would let them overthrow us for a little while, just for fun. I played with the idea briefly before discarding it.

Tink buzzed and floated beside me as I walked out the door. "I'll keep you informed, Raine."

"Thanks, Tink. I think I may disappear for a little while. There's a South Carribean Island where my description hasn't been circulated yet, and a piece of sand with my name all over it."

"Can I go?" She buzzed anxiously, hovering around my head.

"Nah, you know how you burn. Besides, I already have company lined up. Keep an eye out, Tink, and tell Maria I'll be back when I get my head together."

I strode away, putting on my sunglasses and already thinking of how few clothes I should pack, and the exact shade of brown I wanted to achieve on some
anonymous beach where the resort waiters brought daqueris wearing very little but a smile.

I grinned. All was right with the world once more.

***